I will stop this nonsense. If I will continue to like him my life will be miserable and it would cause me pain. Sometimes watching from afar will be the best option to enjoy the view. I think I’ll just stick to that.
Talked with young master and discussed about relationship shits. While asking him it made me realize that he is a very kind guy. As far as I know him, any girl could fall for him because of his kindness. They may not notice it at first but as you get to know him, he’s really fun to be with and very dependable.
Which made me realize again that he will never like me back. I dunno. I just felt it. He treats me differently than the other girl I know. The girl that I am hinting on that he likes. She’s kind, she’s beautiful, she has a very good body etc. The list could go on. She’s very like-able. Any guy would like her and I think that includes my young master. She possesses the things that I don’t have. Guys would never fall for me.
Srsly. I am becoming very tired of this game. Of this aspect in life. I don’t know what I keep on doing wrong. 7 heart breaks are enough. I don’t want to feel anymore.
As much as I wanted to keep my hopes up but then again who am I joking? He will never see me. I will always be that invisible girl. The one that guys just brushes off. My existence doesn’t bother them at all.
It seems like the only type of guys that could see me are the ones who are looking for a person to hook up with. I mean, I have received an indecent proposal again. Why do I always get those types of proposal? Is that how the world goes? F**k!
“All of a sudden two decades have passed and you still have not kissed anyone with tongue, or kissed anyone at all for that matter, or had a 3 AM conversation with someone who would rather look into your eyes for ten minutes straight than talk. You have never worn a lover’s sweater or “forgotten” it at home in your bedroom just so you would have an excuse to see them again. You have never even stood face-to-face with someone who makes your hands shake so hard it feels like they’re both having a separate anxiety attack.
This causes you much guilt and self-blame and sadness but above all, an overwhelming curiosity. Are you really that ugly, that unwanted, that uninteresting, that boring, that no one, absolutely no one, has ever looked at you like the only thing on earth?
The answer is no. The better answer is that someone out there, somewhere in the world, is “wondering what it’s like to meet someone like you,” and they have two decades worth of love stored in their veins like a shoot-‘em-up drug, and they’re just about ready to inject it into someone else’s bloodstream. All you have to do is roll up your sleeves and wait for it to happen.
At times you felt so lonely you could stand at the edge of a cliff with nothing beneath you but air and grass and a long, long way down, and you’d still feel emptier than that canyon itself. Maybe you even danced with yourself alone in your room a few times, arms outstretched around a ghost, pretending someone else’s hands were on your waist, someone else’s eyes boring into yours.
Or maybe you fell temporarily in love with strangers on public transportation, fell in love with anybody who so much as accidentally brushed your hand on the way past. For you, falling in love with dozens of people a day was a coping mechanism for not having anyone to love you in return. But people are not eggs and falling in love with a dozen of them does not mean your shell will remain uncracked. One day you’re going to hit the point where you’re so desperate for human contact that you’re going to snap in half and all your love will bleed out like egg yolk.
But someone out there is eating a bowl of Ramen noodles right now, or putting on slippers, or settling into bed. They are doing all the normal things that you’ve done in your own life. They are just like you. They have cellulite and extra fat in all the wrong places and goals and fears and doubts and bad handwriting.
The truth is that they are just like you, and being just like you, they’re looking for a lover too. They’re what you might call a soulmate.
They think they’re all alone in feeling the way they do, but you’re really both two halves of a whole.
And one day you’ll meet them, bump into them on the street, and your two halves will be put together, and you’ll make one.”—Writings For Winter - For Twenty Year-Olds who have never been loved (via ambedoh)
As the saying goes, a drunken mind speaks the sober heart.
I should have made this post the day after our ‘bonding’ moment, but my head hurts like hell and my heart refuses to spread the kilig. So I contained it for a day or two. Being with you that day is one of my “100 happy days”.
You’re the sweetest when you followed me to my patient. I asked you “Why?” you just told me that I might need you there that’s why. I asked you again “Why are you here?” you just told me that I maybe having a hard time with my patient that’s why you’re there.
I shooed you away because you’re making my heart race at that time. I am starting to feel tired because of my 12 hours shift but you’re just there making me happy.
Later that night our friends decided to have a drink.
I really don’t want to sit beside you because I don’t want awkwardness to fill me in that night. I was scared at first because I might get drunk and tell you how I feel.
I’m really glad that I did sit next to you.
When I sat beside you, you asked me if I have re-touched my make up. So does that mean that I looked pretty that night? Haha
You asked me questions and I answered them honestly. You asked me why I still don’t have a boyfriend. My most dreaded question.
"I don’t know why." I answered. You rebutted "You must be choosy?"
"I’m not!" I answered.
"Maybe you want someone who’s handsome and perfect?" you kidded.
"I just want someone who’s kind to me." and then you mentioned names.
Seriously. I kept on thinking what are the qualities I want on a guy besides being kind.
I want someone who’s taller than me. I have this fantasy of taller guys leaning on me just to kiss me and me tiptoeing just to reach him.
I want someone with a great sense of humor and witty.
I want someone who’s patient enough to be with me whenever I throw my tantrums.
I want someone who knows how to shut up and listen.
I want someone who will accept me for who I am.
SEE? I am not that choosy. HAHAHA
We were closer than before! Literally! I started to lean on you (which I didn’t mean to) and ask you questions. I felt so happy. You made me happy.
I’m glad that we had the chance to talk that night. That I was able to open up to you. They say you’re a jerk but for me you’re now one of the best people I want to keep.
The next day that I saw you, I don’t know how to act towards you. I became paranoid because… I can’t remember if I had told you that I like you. You were kind enough to answer me that I haven’t done anything stupid. So thank you.
I am liking you more than before. My friends told me to stay away from you because of your reputation but I refused to. They told me stop fantasizing that this might progress to something and don’t hope that this may blossom into love. Little did they know that I have been liking you from the very first day I met you.
I kept on wondering if you were able to read all my posts about you. Hmm. Will you let me know?
“If you’re ever lucky enough to find a girl who is a hopeless romantic with a dirty mind, you should hold onto that. Because she’ll be yours at two in the morning and at two in the afternoon the following day. She’ll kiss you where it hurts and until it hurts. And that’s important. Someone who not only knows how to turn you on but also knows how to treat you right is someone worth a little something… and a little more than usual.”—(via these-greatexpectations)
I MISS YOU. Nuff said. Namiss ko yung bigla mo na lang akong nilalapitan. Your continuous mockery na alam mo namang lalabanan kita. I miss our arguments. I miss you telling me na “Umuwi ka na nga” after my duty. I miss you. I MISS YOU!
Nagaask ako ng sign kay Papa GOD. Pag inaya mo ako ng Valentines day date, sayo ako sasama. Kahit may iba pang magtanong sayo lang talaga. Pero pag di mo ako inask, kahit iask ako ng iba, di ako papayag sa kanila. Pinipilit ko lang sarili ko na sumaya pag kasama sila pero ikaw naman talaga yung gusto kong kasama.
Pero alam ko naman din na kahit sino sa inyo nung “iba” walang magtatanong pra maging date ako sa 14. Haha dahil alam kong ibang tao namana yung gusto mong makasama sa araw na yun.
Yung taong kinukwento mo kay Amor. Yung taong nagpapatibok ng puso mo. Pero malay naman natin diba? Bigla mo akong maisip sa araw na yun.